today's ramble

So it's been a while since I've sit and posted. Been a lot happening, work is very crazy - people just keep leaving. Plus home is tiring, fun, but tiring. My little boy is walking so much - keeps me on my toes. (But I think I'm aging quicker these days) haha..

So I get to be in an offering ceremony this Sunday. Turns out, I get to be at one of the most important positions, making the offerings to the Buddha. Wow, that was not expected. I'm quite honored to even be asked, but, to be put in the position does mean a lot.

I've been thinking a lot lately, getting frustrated with myself on this path. I get frustrated, wondering if this 'living for others' vow is all worth it. Are my Bodhisattva Vows really worth it? Really something I need to strive for? A way I really want to live? I have to take a step back when these thoughts arrise. Evaluate myself.... Then I look over, see my son playing, walking, running, causing trouble,,,, breathing..... and I know the answer. There really is no other path. My life is not mine, and it's an amazing thing.